By Kevin Smith
NOW up-to-date WITH THE ‘INS AND OUTS’ of constructing ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO, and lots more and plenty, even more!
Anything yet uninteresting, Kevin Smith stocks his x-rated techniques in his diary, telling all in his ordinary candid, heartfelt and irreverent way!
Kevin Smith pulls no punches during this hard-hitting, in-your-face exposé of, er, his relatively boring and uneventful existence… good, now not regularly uninteresting. In among gazing his TiVo, he manages to make and unlock Clerks II, relate the tale of his partner-in-crime Jason Mewes’ heroin addiction... and get stuck stealing donuts from Burt Reynolds.
Thrown in are his perspectives at the perils of strip golf equipment, the downside of threesomes, the discomfort of anal fissures, his love-affair with Star Wars and much more! Adults basically!
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Extra resources for My Boring-Ass Life (New Edition): The Uncomfortably Candid Diary of Kevin Smith
She’s hungry, so I throw on a hat and we’re off to the Griddle. We sit down outdoor on a blustery l. a. morning and stumble upon Carrie, the woman Brian Lynch delivered to the Poetry occasion. Later, Brian Lynch and Matt Kawczynski roll through for a few breakfast and sign up for us. We do an hour at the dancing Odie within the Garfield motion picture and anal (though, y’know — now not within the similar breath). Brian makes an grand funny story approximately lasagna at Garfield’s cost, and it retains me chuckling all day lengthy. at the manner domestic, Jen stops for a espresso Bean on Hollywood, throughout from Grauman’s. I remain within the vehicle, and I’m transfixed via the costumed Superman lurking in entrance of the theater. if you don’t stay the following, in entrance of Grauman’s chinese language Theatre you will discover all demeanour of costumed characters: Elmo, Batman, Darth Vader, Chuckie, Michael Myers, Superman, Spider-Man, and so on. until eventually Edgar Wright schooled me at the topic final week, i used to be lower than the unsuitable influence that they have been employed by way of the Hollywood Chamber of trade. seems, if you’ve bought a fancy dress that’s remotely suggestive of a movie or television icon, you could relax on Hollywood Blvd. and pose for images with travelers for a small rate. It’s type of interesting simply because it’s democratized the costumed impersonation/tribute artist biz. And utter evidence of that's the Superman I’m captivated with: he’s blond (not brunette), brief, his costume’s dishevelled, he wears crimson bootlets over purple Keds footwear, and so much heinously, he wears glasses. I’m no longer asserting I’d make a greater Superman than this man, yet in keeping with the bar he’s surroundings, I’d come beautiful fucking shut. A blond Superman who wears glasses and has the gall to cost fogeys for photographs. How correctly Hollywood. We get domestic and Mos calls to strike a cord in me that we have got to bring the 1st sizeable bite of the Rats re-edit to common domestic Video this day, so I head all the way down to the workplace to do a last cross at the stuff Mos and i've prepare. En direction, I take heed to a message from my brother a few few containers of signed Mallrats books we despatched to him that reached the Florida places of work thoroughly smudged. He issues out uncomplicated layer of paper towels among the books may cross a ways towards fighting this, simply as I hit the workplace. Phil Benson’s within the modifying room with Scott, as is Laura Greenlee (who I haven’t obvious in a dog’s age). We chit-chat in regards to the Clerks 2 circulation, and snicker over the mind-bendingly in the market loooooooooong reduce of the T. S. /Mr. Svenning pre-pretzel scene, and then I study that Tracy McGrath (a buddy and colleague at Miramax) has been hospitalized with serious pneumonia and is simply now being moved from ICU to the severe record. This activates an extended dialogue approximately how little any folks find out about pneumonia prior to we dig into Laura’s love-life a section and allow her head out. I watch a few bloopers we’ve came across and edit them a section to simply the impressive stuff sooner than I take off for domestic. At domestic, Jen’s looking forward to me at the cut down, and we load this large blowup I bought from Harvey’s place of work of Jay and Silent Bob at the motorbike (that creation nonetheless which was once the main used to advertise Strike Back).